God, please help me, the worst of sinners. I can't go on like this much longer....
The musings and mad ramblings of a former youth pastor who left ministry, was broken through clinical depression and anxiety, and made the decision to maintain a sense of humor and fight his way back to health all while choosing to abide in Christ.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Rainy Days and Mondays...
...always bring me down. When is it ever appropriate to say I'm depressed? Bottling it up for years is one of the major reasons I'm in the "bad place" now. Publishing my emotions and feelings on Facebook or even this blog for that matter are just attempts to get attention and sympathy. Or, even worse, I bring someone else down. I know I'm supposed to cast all my cares on the Lord, but there are times when whatever I pray, I still feel like tripe. "Don't be lead by emotions." Great. I agree. But when the emotion becomes so strong that all I can do is dwell on it or curl up in a ball in prayer, what do I do? How does the Fellowship of Believers fit in? I don't want to be a people pleaser anymore, but I don't want to suck the life and energy from those around me either. I'm hurting badly, and in all honesty, I don't know what to do about it.
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