Friday, September 5, 2008

A Few of My Favorite Fears

Spiders; People; Snakes; Getting Dirty; Corrective Action; Moose; Crowded Stores Full of Breakable Baubles; Bugs; Slime; Rejection; Failure; Zombies; Activities Happening Behind Me; The IRS; Drunks; Parties; The Numbers 13 & 666; Being Brought to Tears in Public; Being Abandoned; My Gramma...But She's Dead, So She Doesn't Scare Me As Much Any More; Clowns; Running Out of Gas On a Lonely Stretch of Highway; Being Lost As the Light of the Day is Diminishing Behind the Horizon; Pretty Girls; The Screaming During Lights Out in the Psych Ward; Getting Hit in the Back of the Head; Driving in the High Country in Arizona When a Snowstorm Hits; Crucifixes (We Nailed Jesus to the Cross Once...Please Don't Put Him Back Up There); Shopping; Asking for Directions; Trigonometry; Being Buried Alive; Being Jammed in a Crowd So Tightly That I Can't Move; Making Conversation on the Phone; Leaving Voice Mail Messages; Being Misunderstood; Going to Prison for a Crime I Didn't Commit; Foreign Cultures; Hot Topic; Realizing My Speech in Front of an Audience Is a Dud & Trying to Think of How the Heck to End It & Get Off the Stage; Falling; Burning.  But Number One on the List Has to Be Phone Calls in the Middle of the Night

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