Brave New World

It's time to begin.  It's time to get off the fence.  On March 14th, 1970, I was born; on October 19th, 1993, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior; on April 16th, 2007, I had a nervous breakdown; and on March 2nd, 2008, I was healed.  After 25 (38) years of depression and demonic oppression, I was delivered from my disorder.  At that point, I finally understood in my heart and believed in my heart that it's not about me.  It's about God.  God is faithful.  God is eternal and unchanging.  His promises are for me just as much as they are for everyone else including all the people I have ministered to over the years.  He loves me.  I love Him.  NOTHING else matters.  EVERYTHING I do and I am stems from my relationship with God.  I have been grafted into the vine.  I have life eternal.  Nothing can separate me from the Love of God.

The expectations and emotions and affirmations of people...all people whether they be righteous or unrighteous...are irrelevant.  With this past year, expectations of me are low or nonexistent.  I will expect this as a blessing as that means there are now so many less obstacles and chains to overcome....

The other huge expectation from the world is of fitting in.  I give up my right to fit in and be normal.  I give up my right to be understood.  I give up my right to be liked.  And linked so heavily into this is my expectation of myself.  I give up my right to be a homeowner.  I give up my right for financial security.  I give up my right to have the neatest, latest toys.  I give up my right to be a father.  And that is so hard.  Lord, You know the desire of my heart, and You see the ache of not being a parent and not providing that joy to Sara.  I hand this over to You.  You are my God, and You are enough.