Friday, March 20, 2009


I walked in the bathroom early in the morning. Like most mornings, Sara asked from the shower, "How are you?" My answer? "Really good." She peeked from behind the shower curtain, mouth agape.

Why would this simply two-word sentence of, "Really good," cause such a reaction? Maybe because my typical answer would be:

"In pain."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Don't ask questions when you don't truly want to know the answer."

I can't remember a previous time when I had given a positive answer...not even mornings following a decent night. Fact is that I hated life. To me, life was not a gift but a curse. It's a hell of a thing to wake up every morning upset with the fact that you woke up once again.

So, what was the difference this time? Well, the night before, we had an amazing time of prayer where an elder anointed me with oil. Stay with me here, because things got pretty intense. The elder had placed his hand on my forehead and was SCREAMING prayer of healing and deliverance from the torture of the evil one. It was unbelievable. It was a feeling of a huge weight being lifted from my chest. At one point, I opened my eyes and made eye contact with the host of the event. Now here's the really crazy part: when we locked eyes, he was suddenly filled with anxiety and revulsion and the room began to spin. He then ran off to start retching violently. (I felt bad because we had just had a great dinner.) But as he released what was inside of him, he began to instantly feel better. He had not been dealing with any sickness. In fact, St. Joe seems to have the constitution of an ox. His wife and kids were looking at him (and me...awkward...) in amazement because he NEVER vomited. His wife couldn't remember the last time he had been so sick to his stomach that he couldn't hold it. His kids didn't remember a time EVER where he had reacted that way.

Now, understand, I'm not a huge fan of Charismatic Churches or the Name It and Claim It Doctrine. I feel very much like it is abused and that these signs and wonders become about edifying the self instead of God. Even worse, I feel like most relegate God to the position of the Genie in the Lamp. Just rub the lamp and out pops God to grant your wish, and then when you are done, God jumps back in the lamp where He belongs so He's not getting in the way of what the person is trying to accomplish. That being said, the Bible is very clear that when our heart is right, and when we abide (dwell, live, receive nourishment) in the Lord that he will answer our prayers including Healing, Prophetic Words, Speaking in Tongues, and all that jazz. It's real. It's uncomfortable, but God doesn't care if we are comfortable: He wants us to be comforted. Huge difference. Do I know all there is to know about God. NO WAY! No one could because God is Infinite. All I know is that sitting there on that couch, I was healed. Since then, I've been able to be much more productive and leave my apartment and live life without these shackles to which I had grown so accustomed. Coincidentally (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) my doctor had just the day before changed two of my meds to about half of what I was taking before. Instead, he had given me something far more potent to take in between the new doses as needed. I've only taken 1 of those pills since I was healed.

OK, let's hit the rewind button on this blog for about a year. If you look there, you'll see a post called "Healed." This all sounds pretty familiar if you read that post. So why is this time different? Well the answer is that it is up to me if it will be different. I need to exercise regularly. I have to read my Bible daily. I have to live a life of prayer without ceasing. These are my choices. God has wiped the slate clean for me (again) and now I have a responsibility to make sure that what goes on that slate from now on is pure and Godly. I need to be abiding in the Lord. If I don't make these decisions and stick with them, well let's just say I'm pretty nervous as to what my blog will say a year from now.

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