• "Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier." - Blore's Razor
• "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity." - Hanlon's Razor• "It is easier to get forgiveness than permission." - Stuart's Law of Retroaction
• "When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." - Tuco's Rule
• "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever." - Anonymous
• "Why do bad things happen to good people? Because it's funnier that way." - Anonymous
• "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams
• "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." - Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
• "He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." - Douglas Adams
• "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou
• "Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them,glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." - Apple Computer Inc.
• "Live to the point of tears." - Albert Camus
• "Nobody realizes that some people expend a tremendous amount of energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus
• "The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
• "Equations are the devil's sentences." - Stephen Colbert
• "In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends." - John Churton Collins
• "It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
• "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence." - Albert Einstein
• "If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke." - Hugh Elliott
• "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
• "I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people." - Jack Handey (Deep Thoughts)
• "Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid." - Heinrich Heine
• "The world is a mess and I just need to rule it." - Dr. Horrible
• "Technology is making us dumber?!?!" - Sara Kern
• "Nobody likes a clown at midnight" - Stephen King
• "[A] tragedy is a tragedy, and at the bottom, all tragedies are stupid. Give me a choice and I'll take A Midsummer Night's Dream over Hamlet every time. Any fool with steady hands and a working set of lungs can build up a house of cards and then blow it down,but it takes a genius to make people laugh." - Stephen King
• "We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society." - Judith Martin
• "Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes." - Aaron McGruder
• "Don't shave angry." - Kori Miraglia
• "I hate cynicism; it's my least favorite quality, and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien
• "You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious,nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave." - Sydney Smith
• "Love, peace and bacon grease." - Charlie Stickney
• "I think we'd see a pretty sharp decline in suicides if life was turned into a musical." - Ethan Suplee
• "People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Teresa
• "The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend." - Henry David Thoreau
• "There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
• "There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president." - Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007), "Cold Turkey", In These Times, May 10, 2004
• "The more loving you are, the more attractive you are." - Rick Warren
• "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck." - Joss Whedon
• "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles)
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