For those of you who have seen previous posts, you know life has not been "easy" lately. For those of you just joining us, let me tell you, life hasn't been "easy" lately. In fact, there have been a lot of moments of pain in my life, and many more in the lives of the people I love. I'm not going into details, but I will say that there have been moments that have left me dumbfounded & speechless.
When this stuff happens, I tend to talk to people & especially talk to myself to try to rationalize what is happening. "Well, we live in a fallen world, and bad things happen because there are consequences to sin, and sometimes those consequences are payed by people other than the person who commits the sin, and it's all really nasty, but it isn't God's fault, and if we should be placing blame on anyone, we should place it on ourselves because of Free Will & also place the blame on the world & the devil, and God doesn't cause these things to happen, but He never wastes a hurt, and we have no idea of what the Big Picture is, and we have no idea how God will use this hurt to draw people close to Him and show them Comfort in their time of sorrow; Besides, who am I to question God?"
The answer is that I have accepted Christ as my Lord & Savior which means I am adopted into the Family of God. I have every right to question God. In fact, I would even say that I have an obligation to question Him.
Sounds a bit pretentious, I know, but it's the truth. I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness, and I was a good kid. In fact, I was one of the best. Teachers would continually heap praises upon me for my intelligence & behavior. However, because I had to continually earn the Love of Jehovah, there were times that even I fell short. It was a miserable life filled with judgment & shame. I finally came to the point where I made the decision that I would rather spend eternity in oblivion than with this "Jehovah," because He was making my life miserable. I doubted. I was broken. I asked, "Why?" and I got no good answer in return. Because of this, I chose to leave the Jehovah's Witnesses. After that experience, I vowed that I would never allow anyone else to do my thinking for me.
Several years later, through experiences in the past with people who shared the True Gospel & the unconditional Love of Christ combined with current friendships with Christians who were Patient & Loving with me, I accepted Christ as my Savior. It was a long process because I had a ton of questions and so much baggage from my years with the Jehovah's Witnesses. I doubted. I questioned. I tested. What I found was a God who loved me unconditionally, was willing to send His Son to die upon the Cross to pay for my sins, and Resurrected His Son from the Tomb to defeat death, itself. This Infinite God loved me infinitely & intimately, and He wanted to give me a Gift of Salvation. There was nothing I could do to earn this Gift. There was never a way I could repay Him for what He had done. All I could do was simply accept the Gift & all it had to offer.
If I had not doubted; if I had not questioned; if I was not willing to ask, "Why?" about the difficult things, I'd still be a Jehovah's Witness & still be one of the nicest hell-bound people you would have ever met.
So many of us are scared to death of our Lord. We have all of this religious baggage that keeps us from ever wanting to "draw His attention" and "suffer from His Wrath" for ever "daring to question Him." In the Book of Job, Job asks God, "Why?" God's response seems pretty harsh: "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding." - Job 38:4 But then God goes on in the last chapter of Job to accredit Job's willingness to question Him as righteousness. In fact, God was so pleased with Job's willingness to approach Him that He saved Job's friends as well.
So many of the Psalms ask the question, "Why?" A lot of times, no answer is given in return; we simply have the question to God. Even Jesus, who was without sin cried out, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" - Matthew 27:46b
This is Jesus we are talking about!!! The Son of God; The Word made flesh; The Alpha & the Omega. Jesus, in His moment of pain, humiliation, abandonment, and sorrow cried out to God, "Why?!"
I believe that in the process of life shaping us to be appropriate in order to fit into society, we lose too many good child-like qualities...qualities like wonder, trust, and the willingness to appear foolish. I truly believe that when we are filled with sorrow & ready to burst, we need to let go of that pride that keeps us from giving all of ourselves to God. We need to be willing to pitch a fit, throw a tantrum, pound our hands & feet into the floor, sit in our Father's lap & sob to the point of exhaustion when we finally have gotten these hurts out and calmed so that God can hold us and give us Comfort & Peace.
I believe there is no more powerful prayer than when we look to the Heavens with tears in our eyes and sorrow in our hearts and simply ask God, "Why?"
Beautiful...thank you for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteI am honored to be on this journey with you.
God bless you and keep you! Love you!!
You paint well my friend ! Thank you for the glimpse inside ! many hugs heaped up and piled apon you and yours :-)
ReplyDeleteHugs are always received with Joy! Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteGod is good!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to come out of those religions, but God's grace is truly wonderful. Many years ago, right after I first got saved, I tried very hard to win a few JWs that kept coming to my house- useless, lol. ..I even went to our local Christian library and made copies of some of their misquoted doctrines from the Anti-Nicene Fathers- useless again.
Praise the Lord for your testimony!
AMEN, He is good! I'm so sorry for the delayed response, but I wanted to say thank you for the encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe in the Doctrine of Free Will, but when I look at my life and how there are so many people who are better at being good than me yet have not received the Gift of Salvation, I can't help but KNOW that God chose me. It is incredible and humbling.
Blessings.